Big enough

The other night my Buck was trying to get Toots to eat her vegies and he told her that she needed to eat to grow up big. Her wise response, "Well Daddy, you are big - you don't have to eat so much." So true - for me too.

I'm excited. I feel good and ready to take on the day. We sold our camper, so I'm hopeful we will be able to get the boiler fixxed in the Timothy Center. And I get to plan a birthday party and a family vacation. Toot's PCA is able to come with us, so I can get a vacation while on vacation :) I just have to find someone to house sit.

I'm going to try to record Booboo singing. It is a hoot, especially when Toots tries to "help" him.

Buddy only has one night of racing left for the season. He's done well; crashed a few times, won a couple trophes, and met some nice people.

A hard year?

Today I read Claudia's blog about how bad stuff that happens can be summed up in 3 seconds. I'm kinda feeling sorry for myself so I think I'll try it. Now I know that I am incredibly blessed by many things and I am truly grateful and things could have been worse.


My mother-in-law was dead for about 8 min. (similar to my father who was "brain dead" for 1.5 years before he actually died) She survived and is o.k. - even b-sits for me.

Problems with county building inspector in regards to 2 sheds (and we didn't tell him that we were planning on using them as guest cabins either)

Youngest son scoped up and down to check out digestive track. Still don't have a diagnoses.

Husband in emergency room several times.

Boiler broken in Timothy Center.

Daughter in developmental evaluation - I'm a bad parent.

Brother's gorry death televised on national t.v. - repeatedly

Husband had major surgery- followed by a week in Intensive care - the day after brother's memorial service.

Oldest son had wisdom teeth extracted same day as husband's surgery.

Spent 20th wedding anniversary finally burying my brother.

Step niece's house flooded. Looses foster kids for awhile ("they" finally let them come home after they repeatedly ran away from new foster home)

Husband's uncle dies.

Plans for getting our ministry's non-profit status on hold since a major board member dropped out.

Experimenting with daughter's iron for sleep issues.

Husband hospitalized for a week on Christmas.

Brother's house still being cleaned out.

Nephew has major medical issues all spring.

Daughter's X-PCA called social services on us. Apparently, since she was unable to "fix" our family there must be something really wrong so that social services needed to be informed. (I think they were laughing at her report - but they still had to follow up on the call)

Husband under goes another surgery and hospitalization. Turned out good.

Financial problems. Big.

Husband under extreme stress at work.

Big storm. At least 20 trees really damaged. Lots of work.

Planning on closing the Timothy Center for the winter unless we can get the boiler fixed. :(



Well, that about sums up my year. Yep, 3 seconds. It definately could have been worse. But I feel better after whining and I really just want a boring year. The last seven years have been difficult. Hey - maybe I'm in for 7 good years; just opposite of Joseph in Egypt. (Uh O that would bring Toots to 13 years old ........)

bountiful harvest

I've been reading about all the produce that my blogging encouragers have harvested. So, I thought since I can do photos I would show off my gardening talent.

Tree photos... did it work?

Monday blues

It's a beautiful day outside. I hope that I can get out to enjoy it, but I have to drive 65 miles to our credit union this morning. I think I'll stop by the cemeteries as long as I'm close. I left real flowers last week on my brother's grave (sorta a no-no) so I should go exchange them for fake. My mom's b-day was last Sat. so maybe I'll drop off a rose at hers - only real flowers at this cemetery.

I've been thinking allot about our baby that was ripped away from us. She just turned 6 on Friday. I couldn't even bring myself to send a card. She's not my little girl, but she will always be my baby. I didn't give birth to her, but I loved her so much. It is so hard not knowing if she is really o.k. Her real mom doesn't notice any signs of FASD - yet. Did she really luck out? She drank so much the first 6 months she was expecting that she was surprised when the baby appeared beautifully normal. I loved her and would have cared for her anyway. How could she have "changed her mind"? How could she miraculously be able to care for the child. She says all is well. Life goes on.



My sprained foot is feeling much better so I'm going to try to work more on branch removal - big storm last month.

Huh?

I hate alcohol. I hate what it's done to my daughter. I hate what it's done to my family, to me. I'm a different person then I was 7 years ago. When we filled out our adoption papers, FAS was one of the few things we said we couldn't cope with. Down's - o.k., wheelchair- o.k., mentally handicapped - o.k.,......, FAS & RAD - no. We were right - how did we end up here and what made us change our minds?
Toot's has been intolerable. Her demeaner stinks, she hasn't been sleeping well, and she peed in the car's cup holder???? I am astounded, bewildered. I broke down and gave her some meds that are supposed to help her sleep - some form of valium. Didn't do much good - she's awake (2:30). She has been hiding stuff in her butt crack. Now, that's a hard place to check in the store :).

On a bright note : I was able to get 4 nights of 7 hours of sleep (thanks Angie for one of them)last week, We survived a big storm (about 20 -25 trees were damaged and the car needs a bit of work) but we are o.k. and miraculously our buildings are too and the power came back on that night, The one year anniversary of my brother's death is over ( Buddy was on the news in his race car - he won another feature the week before too), I'm sure there was something else but I can't remember - that has been the theme of my life lately. The thumping upstairs is getting loud- I better go before Buck wakes up.

First Place

Buddy is racing in memory of his uncle for a few weeks. He won his feature race. He is doing so well. Of course I didn't get to see it. My dear friend offered to take the kids overnight so I could go to the race, but they were so ---- that we stayed home. I will get there next week somehow.

I'm slowly catching up on sleep. Last night I got 4 hours and the night before I got 5 hours. Doing good. I'm looking forward to being able to think again. I could be sleeping now, but I watched a tv show about the bridge collapse. It'll be awhile before I can fall asleep tonight.

Our ministry has been stagnating this past year. I pray we can recover so we can continue our dream for a hospitality center for families. Last week however, we were able to help out a missionary family from Mexico. They camped out in our trailer in between church visits. Their kids got along perfectly with our kids. (oh yeah, I also cared for a pastor's dogs so he could get away with his family) I would love to do more.

Maybe if I throw in a load of laundry and take a shower I'll be able to sleep. Have a good night!