lotsanutsa

alleluia

2010-05-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

I was enjoying my Chinese buffet dinner when I heard a loud scratchy voice echoing across the restaurant from the bathroom "alleluia, alleluia. ..." oh yeah it was BooBoo: ) On our way out, Toots so politely hollers "grosious" to the handsome young Asian host.

FASD SERVICE DOG

2010-01-24T17:40:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited. Toots has started a dog training class with Riley. I'm hoping he will help her cope better in society. She is doing so well. And a special bonus is that the class is near the grandparents so BooBoo can stay with them while we are in class :)

Big enough

2008-10-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

The other night my Buck was trying to get Toots to eat her vegies and he told her that she needed to eat to grow up big. Her wise response, "Well Daddy, you are big - you don't have to eat so much." So true - for me too.

I'm excited. I feel good and ready to take on the day. We sold our camper, so I'm hopeful we will be able to get the boiler fixxed in the Timothy Center. And I get to plan a birthday party and a family vacation. Toot's PCA is able to come with us, so I can get a vacation while on vacation :) I just have to find someone to house sit.

I'm going to try to record Booboo singing. It is a hoot, especially when Toots tries to "help" him.

Buddy only has one night of racing left for the season. He's done well; crashed a few times, won a couple trophes, and met some nice people.

A hard year?

2008-08-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

Today I read Claudia's blog about how bad stuff that happens can be summed up in 3 seconds. I'm kinda feeling sorry for myself so I think I'll try it. Now I know that I am incredibly blessed by many things and I am truly grateful and things could have been worse.

My mother-in-law was dead for about 8 min. (similar to my father who was "brain dead" for 1.5 years before he actually died) She survived and is o.k. - even b-sits for me.

Problems with county building inspector in regards to 2 sheds (and we didn't tell him that we were planning on using them as guest cabins either)

Youngest son scoped up and down to check out digestive track. Still don't have a diagnoses.

Husband in emergency room several times.

Boiler broken in Timothy Center.

Daughter in developmental evaluation - I'm a bad parent.

Brother's gorry death televised on national t.v. - repeatedly

Husband had major surgery- followed by a week in Intensive care - the day after brother's memorial service.

Oldest son had wisdom teeth extracted same day as husband's surgery.

Spent 20th wedding anniversary finally burying my brother.

Step niece's house flooded. Looses foster kids for awhile ("they" finally let them come home after they repeatedly ran away from new foster home)

Husband's uncle dies.

Plans for getting our ministry's non-profit status on hold since a major board member dropped out.

Experimenting with daughter's iron for sleep issues.

Husband hospitalized for a week on Christmas.

Brother's house still being cleaned out.

Nephew has major medical issues all spring.

Daughter's X-PCA called social services on us. Apparently, since she was unable to "fix" our family there must be something really wrong so that social services needed to be informed. (I think they were laughing at her report - but they still had to follow up on the call)

Husband under goes another surgery and hospitalization. Turned out good.

Financial problems. Big.

Husband under extreme stress at work.

Big storm. At least 20 trees really damaged. Lots of work.

Planning on closing the Timothy Center for the winter unless we can get the boiler fixed. :(

Well, that about sums up my year. Yep, 3 seconds. It definately could have been worse. But I feel better after whining and I really just want a boring year. The last seven years have been difficult. Hey - maybe I'm in for 7 good years; just opposite of Joseph in Egypt. (Uh O that would bring Toots to 13 years old ........)

bountiful harvest

2008-08-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

I've been reading about all the produce that my blogging encouragers have harvested. So, I thought since I can do photos I would show off my gardening talent.

Tree photos... did it work?

2008-08-11T05:47:00.000-07:00

Monday blues

2008-08-11T05:02:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful day outside. I hope that I can get out to enjoy it, but I have to drive 65 miles to our credit union this morning. I think I'll stop by the cemeteries as long as I'm close. I left real flowers last week on my brother's grave (sorta a no-no) so I should go exchange them for fake. My mom's b-day was last Sat. so maybe I'll drop off a rose at hers - only real flowers at this cemetery.

I've been thinking allot about our baby that was ripped away from us. She just turned 6 on Friday. I couldn't even bring myself to send a card. She's not my little girl, but she will always be my baby. I didn't give birth to her, but I loved her so much. It is so hard not knowing if she is really o.k. Her real mom doesn't notice any signs of FASD - yet. Did she really luck out? She drank so much the first 6 months she was expecting that she was surprised when the baby appeared beautifully normal. I loved her and would have cared for her anyway. How could she have "changed her mind"? How could she miraculously be able to care for the child. She says all is well. Life goes on.

My sprained foot is feeling much better so I'm going to try to work more on branch removal - big storm last month.

Huh?

2008-08-06T00:19:00.000-07:00

I hate alcohol. I hate what it's done to my daughter. I hate what it's done to my family, to me. I'm a different person then I was 7 years ago. When we filled out our adoption papers, FAS was one of the few things we said we couldn't cope with. Down's - o.k., wheelchair- o.k., mentally handicapped - o.k.,......, FAS & RAD - no. We were right - how did we end up here and what made us change our minds?
Toot's has been intolerable. Her demeaner stinks, she hasn't been sleeping well, and she peed in the car's cup holder???? I am astounded, bewildered. I broke down and gave her some meds that are supposed to help her sleep - some form of valium. Didn't do much good - she's awake (2:30). She has been hiding stuff in her butt crack. Now, that's a hard place to check in the store :).

On a bright note : I was able to get 4 nights of 7 hours of sleep (thanks Angie for one of them)last week, We survived a big storm (about 20 -25 trees were damaged and the car needs a bit of work) but we are o.k. and miraculously our buildings are too and the power came back on that night, The one year anniversary of my brother's death is over ( Buddy was on the news in his race car - he won another feature the week before too), I'm sure there was something else but I can't remember - that has been the theme of my life lately. The thumping upstairs is getting loud- I better go before Buck wakes up.

First Place

2008-07-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

Buddy is racing in memory of his uncle for a few weeks. He won his feature race. He is doing so well. Of course I didn't get to see it. My dear friend offered to take the kids overnight so I could go to the race, but they were so ---- that we stayed home. I will get there next week somehow.

I'm slowly catching up on sleep. Last night I got 4 hours and the night before I got 5 hours. Doing good. I'm looking forward to being able to think again. I could be sleeping now, but I watched a tv show about the bridge collapse. It'll be awhile before I can fall asleep tonight.

Our ministry has been stagnating this past year. I pray we can recover so we can continue our dream for a hospitality center for families. Last week however, we were able to help out a missionary family from Mexico. They camped out in our trailer in between church visits. Their kids got along perfectly with our kids. (oh yeah, I also cared for a pastor's dogs so he could get away with his family) I would love to do more.

Maybe if I throw in a load of laundry and take a shower I'll be able to sleep. Have a good night!

sleep deprived thoughts

2008-07-24T05:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, in my lack of sleep fog, I was thinking about how Toots gets so much PCA time because of her unpredictability, yet she is so predictable in so many things. If she knows where the scissors (clippers, pliers, screws,....) are she will use them for harm. (Yep - she cut her hair again. We had guests from Mexico here and some scissors got left out in the bathroom. And there is another hole in the wall,......) She will run the parking lot. She will demand attention when I'm needed elsewhere. If she can find the dog leashes (or any string, rope, ribbon, necklace,.....) she will wrap it around someone's neck and tie them up ( I'm dog sitting this week so I've been on security detail at night trying to keep everyone safe) She knows when I'm weak and will exploit it. I've had to steel myself from crying a few times. How will I ever make it through the teenage years? I'm petrified for what the future holds - Can I run away? I need to remember that these are the "good old days" that I'll look back on. I know where everyone is and they are currently safe. Although I don't have any control over that either. With the first anniversary of my brother's death quickly approaching I am reminding myself to cherish life and family. I'm debating on whether to bring Toots and Booboo with me to all the events I hope I to attend. I want them with me. I don't want to have to deal with "issues." I want them with me. I don't want to deal with ..... I hate keeping them from family events. They are my children, I love them, I want to be with them, they are my family. (although I have doubts of their acceptance into my side of the extended family - is it the adoption or the disability that makes it rough?) Since I will be dealing with my family I will probably leave them with Buck's folks for the day. How sad.

It's me against Them ..........

2008-07-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

Toots is still getting up at night, so I'm trying to sleep with one eye open. After hearing "something" I couldn't get back to sleep after 1.5 hours, so I decided to shower early to get out of the way of the travelers. Toots joined me for a predawn shower. She has been enjoyable at night, but she makes up for it in the daytime. Her PCA was brought to tears today and yesterday too. I'm so lucky that she is so tiny, but she is starting to team up with Booboo. It is scary to be left alone with the two of them. Buck & Buddy made it safely to Daytona for the race. I hope it doesn't rain on them. Buddy is going to miss two races here, but Buck figures he is far enough in points to stay in the top 8 ( he won another heat race last week).

I tried to give the dogs a bath yesterday. Cassie didn't even get dried off before she was jumping in the mud chasing the sprinkler. Lesson learned :)

I'd better go check on the "angels" - since they need constant supervision, I'm gambling now...........

Ewww

2008-07-01T02:47:00.000-07:00

I've been sleeping on the couch allot lately, partly because of a old mattress and partly due to being able to hear Toots at night. Tonight I opted for the bed - mistake. I awoke to the dog bursting into the room with a stench. Not wanting to wake anyone by turning the lights on I fearfully hastened to let the dog out. I encountered a too large to be a poop object that didn't respond and closed (but left open the night before) stairway doors. Aye - there be mischief afoot lassy. An investigation proved me correct - I found a little girl with her pillow and blanket huddled in the hallway with the offensive smell emanating from her room. I washed out the comforter, cleaned the floor, sent the little girl to bed, let the dog back in all the while wondering - what did she do to the dog?? - I hope it was from the dog. I'm so thankful that it wasn't anything worse. I tremble in fear of the day she discovers matches. Why won't she sleep? (o.k. so I know that FAS people have sleep disorders, but when it's 4 a.m. I reserve the right to ask why)

Earlier today I needed to make a trip out. I used to say run errands, but Miss Toots thought we were going to Aaron's house, so to eliminate a meltdown I've changed my vocabulary - I'm so smart :) When we got to the store it was Booboo that threw a fit. I didn't even get apologetic much less embarrassed it has happened so much with Toots, I'm immune and just continue shopping. I'm sure the employees all know us. I do have to use a shopping list, 'cause me brain turns to putty when it's being assaulted. It is putty allot. Uh ooo I hear someone ...... do you think I'll get anymore sleep today?

Yipee

2008-06-29T21:03:00.000-07:00

We had lunch at a restaurant with grandma/pa today. It was awesome. The kids ate. There was no screaming, upchucking, crying, falling over, and I didn't have to pry anyone off the floor (yucko). We weren't overly distracting to the other patrons. I only had to make one quick trip to the potty. I actually got to participate in normal conversation - I'm not used to it. It was lovely. (A stark contrast to our Friday get together with friends where I was constantly "distracted" - to put it nicely) --Stop-- It was a lovely lunch and I love my children.

It wasn't MY idea...

2008-06-26T14:12:00.000-07:00

Our friends came to spend the night. We went to a waterpark, ( Toots and Booboo spent more time in the sand - gritty children) and had pizza afterwards. There was some rough play and the beautiful teenaged girl got her lip split open (just a little). It was late and emergency rooms are never what you want them to be so........ I often thought how nice it would be to glue "someone's" lips together, but I never thought I'd actually do it. Poor kid. Her mamma made me do it :) I hope she doesn't scar.

It was so good to see them again, but the visits always go by so quickly. Toots has been moaning all day " I miss "%%%%%" - I'll never see her again, ever!" Hey, I know where the super glue is - I'm just kidding.

Fun week

2008-06-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Buck & I went to the Rockie Lynne concert. I'm now a fan; I even got a hug from him :) He has a huge heart for hurting people and does a great job expressing life events in song. We had an enjoyable evening away from the kids, so we decided to keep on that theme on Tuesday and ran away down south for the night. Wednesday was spent at home, mostly :) and on Thursday I dropped the little kids off at grandma/pa's for the night. Buck & Buddy went to the track to practice and I went to a "meeting." My sister was also there and we had a good time together after the meeting. Friday brought the wedding celebration of my niece. I'm so excited to see what God will do with their life together. I felt guilty for not including Toots and Booboo in such a momentous family event, but I didn't feel we would do our best at the photos with them there.

A CLEAN SWEEP!
Saturday was the best day for Buddy. He not only won his heat race; he also won his first feature. I brought Toots & Booboo so we were all there to witness the event. Toots was screaming so loud eveyone in the stands by us turned around to see her screaming above the roar of the race cars. The track photographer thought she was so cute when she announced the Buddy was the "best driver in the whole world." Booboo was not without attention either for when the rain started we ran inside and listened to the band. The lead singer came down and danced with Boo and when she read his shirt she stuck him up on stage and read his shirt "my parents are exhausted." What a great day.

Quick catch up

2008-06-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Uncle T took Toots & Booboo for an airplane ride. Toots even got to "drive." Boo was able to unbuckle after leveling off to look out the window. He took one look outside, sat down and grabbed his seat belt. That's my big, tough, "I'm grown up" boy.

We ran out of Toot's iron on Sat. so it should be an interesting week with Buck having vacation .........

Thursday I got together with Beth and her kids. It was so good to see her; the weather was perfect; and the water-park wasn't overcrowded. Toots got rescued. After we left the water-park we came home for pizza and birthday cake (happy birthday Carson) Toots was inconsolable, the pain of not being near her friend Lexi was too great of pain for her to bear - good thing it was bedtime (past) and we could hustle her off to bed. I'm praying for a solution to Toots and Boo sharing a room - it's just not ideal.

Today Buck has aspirations of fixing the corral, anchoring the sheds, and working on the garden AND I have reservations for the Rockie Lynne concert tonight - his song about 'never having the chance to say good bye' brings tears to my eyes. It should prove to be an "interesting" day.

Going green?

2008-06-06T21:23:00.000-07:00

As I was putting the house to bed for the night, I checked to see if the kids were sleeping on Toot's "independent" camera ( a security camera in her room so she doesn't have to be in the same room as mom all the time) They appeared to be sleeping, but as I walked up the stairs I heard little footsteps ..... quiet....soft little foot steps....and then.... a little head peered around the corner ...... "what are you doing?," I asked in my quiet, patient, energy deficient whisper. "Oh, I just had to go potty" "O.K. back in bed." So - what was the black round object in her bed if it wasn't her head??? And now I "need" to stay up to make sure she goes to sleep, before I can relax enough to sleep. Good thing I checked the toilet seat before I sat down. Yep: she needed to go potty alright. As I was wiping up the seat and was preparing to flush the waste, I thought she was trying to save a tree, and I resolved that cleaning the panties would be easier then if she neglected the toilet altogether. I was feeling o.k. And then a politically incorrect discovery - the tree was sacrificed for indeed she had wiped and placed the tissue on the water tank. Yahoo - clean panties.

At least I have one child who is energy conscious - Buddy is quite happy with his once a month shower. I hope it coincides with his cousin's wedding this month.

I wonder if there are any good movies on ..... I hate to waste my sleep time, but I'll just lay there, listening in the silence, .... did I just hear something?

Mountain Memories

2008-06-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

I just got through looking at beautiful mountain pictures. It has brought back a ton of memories. My family would go on a big road trip every year or two. One of our last trips together was to Banff and Lake Louise. I was under 10 yrs. old but I remember how beautiful it was and how good it was to be a family. My brother loved the beauty of the mountains. I'm starting to move on from just remembering his death to remembering his life and looking at those mountains today brought some sweet tears. I miss my dad, mom, and brother so much. It is a comfort to know without a doubt that they are in heaven. I know their faith, I've heard their testimony and I know that they are all together with their Saviour.

Just now I hear of more devastation. There are so many hurting people. It is my prayer that sometime I may be a blessing to those that mourn or are stressed out.

I am so thankful for all that God has given.

Becoming like the one you love

2008-06-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

The other morning Toots' pca jumped. BooBoo was there grinning. Later I was the victim - woo. Boo sniffed my darier. "mommy you're stinky". "I am not!!!" I wonder who his next subject will be.......

The greatest compliment BooBoo can give is to tell you that you are the best driver. Buddy usually gets the distinction, but occasionally he bestows it on someone else. Today he was telling daddy the he was the best driver when Buddy pipes up "uhhh?" So BooBoo quickly changes his tune and tells his bro that he is the best driver and that daddy is "stinky". I have yet to figure out exactly what he means, but at least I'm in good company!

Loose Connections

2008-06-03T06:30:00.000-07:00

There's gotta be something not right in BooBoo's head. I know he's had trouble with trust, anger, obsession, and an unusual loud, repetitive, raspy voice - but there's gotta be something else. He has trouble putting things together. Even when a single request is given he has trouble comprehending, and tries guessing. "Put your cup on the table" is too complicated - He's got to figure out what his cup is and then what the table is - even if he's holding the cup and standing next to the table. It takes him 5 minutes - with constant intervention. It's driving me nuts! But he is so darn cute.

I've got to remember to praise Toots more. She's been asking "Am I naughty?" She was also asking the other day about why she acts the way she does. I'm not sure how to explain it, we talk about FAS all the time and she knows she's adopted - but I don't think she really understands. I want her to learn how to succeed with her disability, not to condone misbehaviors, but to eventually learn what it will take to live the life she wants to live. I want to to know how smart and awesome she is. And I don't want her daydreaming about how wonderful life would be if she was with her birth-mom - yet I don't what to speak ill of ?bm?? either. Her "make-believe" world is so real to her - it is hard to distinguish fact from fiction.

Oooo I was actually thinking - it feels good. I sure hope calamity will stay away.

Ain't ya never need a restroom

2008-05-31T06:56:00.000-07:00

This morning Toots was singing this over and over "Ain't ya never need a restroom" I was puzzled till I recognized the rhythym from the movie "It Takes Two" where the girls are horse back riding and one replies "Ain't ya never seen a western?"

As I was calming the little ones down from a brawl I was struck that I will remember these times as good with the kids - tiring and fustrating, but at least I know where they are and they are safe. I fear I will spend many a night worrying on my knees in a few years.

Hopefully we will get our garden planted this weekend - but thunderstorms are predicted.

It's been a long time

2008-02-22T04:03:00.000-08:00

Good Morning. I haven't blogged lately; I've been too sad and I really don't want to remember what a huge whiner I am. I am so grateful and have so many blessings. However, here are some of the things I'm dealing with now: Buck's surgery is scheduled for March 11, same day as Buddy's wisdom teeth removal, my brother's house still isn't cleaned out, we are out of $, Toots was sick yesterday but otherwise very "busy", the boiler for the pool shed is in need of repair again (Buddy has been keeping it warm with the wood stove), one of Toots' PCA realized she couldn't "fix" our family and called _____________ ................ (Yeh, like that will help here), Buck is really worn out with the stresses that be at his workplace. Just to name a few stresses.

Not Much New

2007-12-17T07:42:00.000-08:00

Not much has changed in the last month. I'm still working on the website and business cards. www.parafamilyministries.com My house is still a disaster. The critters are surviving the cold. Toots had her 6th birthday this weekend. She got her ears pierced. It was touch and go for awhile - I was starting to think she was going to back out. She is so proud of her new earrings.

Night Out

2007-11-26T08:55:00.000-08:00

My wonderful, awesome sister and her family watched the kids for me last night so I could go to Buddy's banquet. She was baking cookies for the kids to decorate when we got there. My niece is sooo good with kids they just adore her. They had an incredible time. Hannah has been crabby now - too late of a night. She fell asleep on the way home, but it was still a short night. I need to start taking photos. They were so cute laying on the couch with K.

I spent yesterday trying to figure out how to set up a web site. Now it needs information and photos.

Buck is super busy with work. (I'll be missing you this week Buck xxooxo)

Today I'm going to play. Out to lunch with a friend, work on the business cards, then to the chiro. and maybe out for dinner with Buck. Yipee!

2007-11-23T17:48:00.000-08:00

Today hasn't been quite as bad as I anticipated. We went shopping, out for lunch, and I get some Christmas cookies baked. All in all not too bad. Maybe tomorrow I'll get to work on another project before we go to Buddy's end of year banquet. I still haven't gotten to go through Toots & Booboo's old clothes yet.

I can't wait to get together with some good friends in the making. We seem to have quite a bit in common. Speaking of friends - it's somebody's birthday today - I'd better hurry so I can give her a call. She is ultra preoccupied with the kids God has brought into her life. God's blessings!

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T18:58:00.000-08:00

It was a good Thanksgiving here. How about you?

Booboo has discovered that he can regurgitate food as a method of control. How can someone so cute and adorable be so-------- needless to say it was an interesting dinner sitting between Toots and Booboo. I still managed to get full though. Buck offered to put them to bed tonight - what a sweetheart. Toots is continually saying hateful things to me, but then she turns around and is so kind and compassionate. I shudder to think what the future holds for us parenting these two into adulthood. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without all the hassles, but then I stop myself from thinking too selfishly.

Today, I was dealing in grief - still. It is really hard to be ultra patient and pre-schooly when you're wanting just a few minutes to yourself. I had a melt down myself this morning, but my self inflicted timeout was short lived. I'm trying to prepare myself for tomorrow; it promises to be a more challenging day. I must take a few minutes with my Bible in the morning. I need to find a way to give attention to my family without sapping all of my (emotional) energy supply.

Today I am very thankful for my family, animals, rescue workers, friends, shelter, an abundance of food, and for all the people who have been praying for me. Thank you Lord for loving me even when I'm wacko.

Tuesday

2007-11-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

Last night instead of blogging I went through some of my grandparents' stuff. There were lots of pictures and even an old accounts ledger. I have some organizing blood in me - I just wish it would surface more frequently. Today Buddy is working on hanging up hat racks for the abundance of baseball hats that we just can't live without. I hope I can live with the hat racks. Someday I need to find a way to display MY hat collection. If i just hang them up, they will get too dirty. I have many hats that my mom designed for her "hat talks" where she shared her testimony through the hats (some of them are hilarious - like her spring hat that is an old bed spring all decorated up. I have 2 WW1 helmets: 1 American, 1 German. I have the two different style of hats that my dad used for work - the traditional cop hat and the newer smokey style. There is even an old leather hat box - so cool. But where can I put them so they stay safe from Toots & Booboo and dirt?? I need help.

Yesterday

2007-11-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

It was a good day yesterday. I got adjusted, organized the jackets, and even made a batch of Christmas cookies. Since I didn't have the kids along to the chiropractor, I took advantage of the situation and stopped at an office supply store to see about business cards for our new ministry. I'm so excited, but why do I do these things when Buck is so busy at work and I really want to work on this stuff together. Reminder to self -- get web site address and work on short ministry phrase.

nightime at last

2007-11-18T18:06:00.000-08:00

I'm exhausted and I didn't accomplish anything today. The emotional toll of raising Toots and Booboo is once again overwhelming me. I cannot spend even one day with them without needing a break. I hope tomorrow's PCA can fill in for me so I can run to the chiro. without extra stress.
At this point in their young lives we need stay and monitor them till they fall asleep. Perhaps if they had separate rooms Booboo could fall asleep on his own, because he hates me anyway - but Toots just can't stay still enough to fall asleep without a constant reminder that it is bedtime. I am very thankful that she hasn't had any night terrors lately and her nighttime adventures seem to be better. Instead of "entertaining" herself downstairs she has been coming into our room; a much less terrifying night for me.
My roast turned out o.k., but I'm striving for melt in your mouth perfection. Maybe I'll get it right next time. Tonight Buck recorded one of our favorite shows so we can watch it together. He is so sweet. Last night for our date, we bought a bunch of junk food and a movie and hung out in the barn; we had a nice time. So tonight we are going to indulge in another ice cream bar. I can't wait for Toots to fall asleep.

Sunday

2007-11-18T10:25:00.000-08:00

The little ones are wild today. I suppose it's because of a new reutine. Buck's parents came over to help fix the plow truck, while we were getting ready for church. I left with the littles while Buck and Buddy stayed home to work. Why bother? We snook into the church's library area and the kids went wild - there was no way I could hear the message so I packed them up and left. grrrrr Someday I'm going to go to a stranger church with a nusery :) and just enjoy the service. Buck's folks are so good to us, I'm glad they are here.

naptime

2007-11-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

Don't ya just love it when the kids are sooo tired,but won't admit it. Toots has been carrying on for awhile, she normally doesn't nap but occasionally she really needs one. Today is one of those days. I was awesome this morning making waffles, ham& cheese eggs, with a side of bacon. Toots wouldn't touch it until we finally bribed her into trying a bite of the waffle (she eats pancakes at other peoples' homes - why not with me??) Buck was perfect this morning - helping finish up the cooking, doing the dishes, making me chocolate milk and watching the kids so I could shower. Perfect and we are going on a date tonight too ^^ woo woo
Booboo was so proud of himself "I went poopoo mamma" 4 seconds later "I went more poopoo mamma" I am so glad when I don't have to clean diaper buts, I'm proud too. He then proceeded to explain to me that I was too big to flush, so he would take care of it. He did a good job.
Buck and Buddy are outside working on the never ending list of stuff to do before it's too cold. It was snowing this morning - Brrrrr. Most of the horses are developing a warm coat - but I'm watching Beau, his is a little slower coming in. Today we will have to make a run for some animal stuff.

It's almost quiet

2007-11-16T19:57:00.000-08:00

I had a great day. Four home educating families came over this morning. They were so awesome to have over. The pool seemed warm enough and the kids were having a good time. Toots was in her glory having friends to play with and Booboo did really well too. Later I was able to run over to a department store and get new shoes - they were 50% off and a extra ten dollars off too. Since I was in a bargain hunting mode Buck was a sweetheart and let me stop at the pool store that was closing. I was able to get a solar blanket at 50% off. I want to experiment with it to see if I can't keep the pool warmer and less evaporation. I know it will be a pain to deal with though. It was nice that the store seemed deserted because then Toots & Booboo's behavior wasn't as annoying as it was at the next stop with lots of shoppers and well mannered children. I could feel glares from the less then patient shoppers. Personally, I like to hear another kid scream and act up a little - then I don't feel alone in parenting difficult children. Its really nice when the kids can just be themselves without the expectations of society (and parents too ) forcing them into a mold they just don't fit in to. I felt so sorry for Toots at pizza tonight. She was too tired to hold it together, and the boths were too small to wiggle much in so she was perpetually on the edge of a major breakdown. She reacted to everything in a snooty, sarcastic, annoying voice. Poor Buddy - most of her jabs were directed towards him, he handled them remarkably well. Needless to say all three of us responsible folks were dealing with major headaches this evening. It's time to sign off - I hear Toots snoring and Booboo is completely quiet. I hope I can get a decent night's sleep.

2007-11-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

Good Morning!
Today should be fun. I might be having guests over this morning, but I haven't received any RSVP so I'm thinkin' of running errands today. Yesterday, I was supposed to clean the barn for a different group of guests but I felt under the weather so I lacked the motivation to attack the spider webs and bugs and no one showed anyway - so much for heating the pool up. The bugs are still there -yuck. It's days like yesterday that make me question the validity of having a place of hospitality and reaching out to families in need. I feel so inadequate for the huge need I see and lacking the finances doesn't help either - and people have to be willing to receive. I found so many people just can't let others in and the ones who do are "takers" and will take all the can get and them some.

OOPS! They're here! Gotta run.

Howdy

2007-11-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

How can I be so sorrowful when I have so much to be thankful for? It is so much harder dealing with my brother's death, then I thought or never thought about. Now I'm thinking that everyone around my is going to die too - ya never know. My brain is experiencing lapses in focus, although this is slowly getting better so I'm blogging in hopes of remembering more of what life is like when Toots & Booboo are little, cute and trying.